A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
