whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
