Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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