the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
