i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
