Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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