im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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