OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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