i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
