Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Lo siento on account of my penis...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
