There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
