I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
