explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
