the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
