please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
smell my finger.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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