So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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