i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
