I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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