Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
