we're blogging at a bar
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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