Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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