waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Randomize
