I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
