True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
