She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
