I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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