Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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