Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
