Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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