I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
so much tequila, so little girl.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
