they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
