Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
