just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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