Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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