My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
