I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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