yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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