So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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