Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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