I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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