You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
