At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
