remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
