You're my little dorito
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
