He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
