Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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