I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
