a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
