I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
