You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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