sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
