My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
