"it" just moved
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
