he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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