i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize